Day Sixty-two...

I don't know if it's my imagination, a psychosomatic type of thing, but it feels like that DHEA might have started to work immediately. This morning I felt very angry and irritable without cause, and in the afternoon I felt like I'd just had a workout and was rather confident in my physical appearance. For a while, I had a brief, precious sense of well being.

Day Sixty-one...

My head's kind of throbbing right now, as if my blood pressure's spiking. I've felt overcaffeinated all day, although I only had my usual two in the morning. I feel tired and distracted and interested in nothing. I took a DHEA capsule to see what that's all about. It's supposed to be good for guys my age. I hope I'm not taking too much stuff. I'm taking Cymbalta, Singulair, and Lipitor. I take a multivitamin in the morning with my Cyumbalta, along with three saw palmetto caps and a couple milliliters of fo-ti. At night I take my other two scrips, plus vitamin C, Coenzyme Q10, three more saw palmetto caps, and now one DHEA cap. Is that a lot? I'm not eating very much these days, but the daily donuts and ice coffee are really keeping the fat glued on. I feel so lethargic all the time, so apathetic. I realize intellectually that this is not a good way to be, but physically and emotionally I can't help it.

Day Sixty...

Wow. Sixty days. Actually not really. I've missed a couple days here and there, including today. No major side effects, just a stiff neck and a funny taste in my mouth. Tomorrow I'll probably wake up with a massive woody. Damn antidepressants.

Day Fifty-nine...

I felt anxious, impatient, and ill-motivated today. Also, my stomach was bothering me slightly earlier. My outlook hasn't really improved that I can tell. In fact, I tend to be more short-tempered and angry since starting the Cymbalta. The only real benefit has been a disappearance of this longstanding back pain of mine.

Day Fifty-seven...

I'm pretty sure this crap's not working for me, except to make me feel angry all the time. I can do that by myself, thank you very much.

Day Fifty-six...

Today I had lunch with some people. I was nervous and tense and uncomfortable the whole time, but I have a feeling it could've been worse, if not for the numbing effect of the drug.

Day Fifty-five...

Very irritable these days, but not as anxious. Frequently tired.

Day Fifty-four...

Today I took my pill nice and early. I didn't feel much of anything with my stomach, but in the middle of the afternoon I crashed hard again and had to take a nap. The frustrating thing was of course that I couldn't sleep. So I just tossed and turned for a while. I do seem to be dreaming more lately. That's nice.

Day Fifty-three...

Yesterday I forgot to take my pill, and when I took it today, it was like a much milder repeat of my first experience, which was headachey and groggy. I took a nap immediately afterward and I had a couple of anxiety dreams and, I think, a couple erotic ones as well. Four dreams in an hour-long nap! I usually don't have that many dreams that I'm aware of in a month. I know I should eat better, get more rest, and exercise, but I just can't get motivated most of the time. Currently, this drug has markedly improved my everpresent mysterious pains and has numbed me to my psychic pain, but I can't say it's really elevated my mood. Drat.

Day Fifty-two...

I forgot to take my pill this morning. I don't want to take it now lest it keep me up all night. I hope I don't go crazy or something.

Day Fifty-one...

No appetite to speak of. Tense and tired all day.

Day Fifty...

Felt nothing again today. Lately I do get flashes of intense anger, and it's hard to stay up late. But I'm not full of energy, nor am I superhappy. Far from it.

Day Forty-nine...

Just tired all the time.

Day Forty-eight

Sleepy, period.

Day Forty-seven...

Today was okay, but I need to stop staying up so late. I need to sleep more, plain and simple.

Day Forty-six...

Nothing at all.

Day Forty-five...

Very irritable all day long. Annoyed. Angry. Frustrated. Pissed off in general.

Day Forty-four...

Very tired and irritable all day long. I feel itchy and greasy. I feel like there's a great stink inside me.

Day Forty-three...

Didn't notice anything today except waking up with a stiff neck.

Day Forty-two...

Feeling no lust today. Greatly diminished sperm production. Hard to make a decision. Hard to find the energy or the time to do stuff.

Day Forty-one...

I sure have been sweating a lot lately. Minimal exertion and moderate temps and humidity make me sweat like a madman.

Day Forty...

Today I felt brighter and cheerier.

Day Thirty-nine...

Sex drive gone, no energy, no spring. Just dragging myself around.

Day Thirty-eight...

Somewhat queasy and irritable and sweaty today.

Day Thirty-seven...

Woke up fairly easy, the day seemed long. I felt a little queasy in the morning, then really tired around 3:00. Sort of hungry all day, but not bad. Felt angry and full of bitterness and self-pity.

Day Thirty-six...

I got up fairly easily today. Was pretty easygoing, relatively comfortable in an outside situation. Nothing major. Just feeling boring and flat.

Day Thirty-five...

I don't know if I should continue with Cymbalta or this blog about Cymbalta. Neither one is doing anything for me, it feels like. I can barely make any sort of basic decision these days.

Day Thirty-four...

A Benadryl and some weird sandwich knocked me out for a bit this afternoon. Woke up with a great boner this morning. Functioned okay today, now I'm crashing.

Day Thirty-three...

Major sugar cravings. Improved concentration and alertness. Less of a desire to sleep.

Day Thirty-two...

Itchy scalp. No appetite, except an appetite for sweets and empty carbs. Man, I love Dunkin Donuts coffee! No bowel movement in two days. Reduction in semen production and erectile turgidity, but not in desire. Psycho-emotionally, I don't think I feel any different than before.

Day Thirty-one...

I should've run out of pills by now, but I've forgotten to take em a couple times. My main concern at this point is hair loss. That side effect seems to be sticking around while all the cool ones like enhanced energy and loss of appetite have faded.