Thursday, May 31, 2007

Day Sixty-two...

I don't know if it's my imagination, a psychosomatic type of thing, but it feels like that DHEA might have started to work immediately. This morning I felt very angry and irritable without cause, and in the afternoon I felt like I'd just had a workout and was rather confident in my physical appearance. For a while, I had a brief, precious sense of well being.

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Day Sixty-one...

My head's kind of throbbing right now, as if my blood pressure's spiking. I've felt overcaffeinated all day, although I only had my usual two in the morning. I feel tired and distracted and interested in nothing. I took a DHEA capsule to see what that's all about. It's supposed to be good for guys my age. I hope I'm not taking too much stuff. I'm taking Cymbalta, Singulair, and Lipitor. I take a multivitamin in the morning with my Cyumbalta, along with three saw palmetto caps and a couple milliliters of fo-ti. At night I take my other two scrips, plus vitamin C, Coenzyme Q10, three more saw palmetto caps, and now one DHEA cap. Is that a lot? I'm not eating very much these days, but the daily donuts and ice coffee are really keeping the fat glued on. I feel so lethargic all the time, so apathetic. I realize intellectually that this is not a good way to be, but physically and emotionally I can't help it.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Day Sixty...

Wow. Sixty days. Actually not really. I've missed a couple days here and there, including today. No major side effects, just a stiff neck and a funny taste in my mouth. Tomorrow I'll probably wake up with a massive woody. Damn antidepressants.

Monday, May 28, 2007

Day Fifty-nine...

I felt anxious, impatient, and ill-motivated today. Also, my stomach was bothering me slightly earlier. My outlook hasn't really improved that I can tell. In fact, I tend to be more short-tempered and angry since starting the Cymbalta. The only real benefit has been a disappearance of this longstanding back pain of mine.

Sunday, May 27, 2007

Day Fifty-seven...

I'm pretty sure this crap's not working for me, except to make me feel angry all the time. I can do that by myself, thank you very much.

Saturday, May 26, 2007

Day Fifty-six...

Today I had lunch with some people. I was nervous and tense and uncomfortable the whole time, but I have a feeling it could've been worse, if not for the numbing effect of the drug.

Friday, May 25, 2007

Day Fifty-five...

Very irritable these days, but not as anxious. Frequently tired.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Day Fifty-four...

Today I took my pill nice and early. I didn't feel much of anything with my stomach, but in the middle of the afternoon I crashed hard again and had to take a nap. The frustrating thing was of course that I couldn't sleep. So I just tossed and turned for a while. I do seem to be dreaming more lately. That's nice.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Day Fifty-three...

Yesterday I forgot to take my pill, and when I took it today, it was like a much milder repeat of my first experience, which was headachey and groggy. I took a nap immediately afterward and I had a couple of anxiety dreams and, I think, a couple erotic ones as well. Four dreams in an hour-long nap! I usually don't have that many dreams that I'm aware of in a month. I know I should eat better, get more rest, and exercise, but I just can't get motivated most of the time. Currently, this drug has markedly improved my everpresent mysterious pains and has numbed me to my psychic pain, but I can't say it's really elevated my mood. Drat.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Day Fifty-two...

I forgot to take my pill this morning. I don't want to take it now lest it keep me up all night. I hope I don't go crazy or something.

Monday, May 21, 2007

Day Fifty-one...

No appetite to speak of. Tense and tired all day.

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Day Fifty...

Felt nothing again today. Lately I do get flashes of intense anger, and it's hard to stay up late. But I'm not full of energy, nor am I superhappy. Far from it.

Saturday, May 19, 2007

Day Forty-nine...

Just tired all the time.

Friday, May 18, 2007

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Day Forty-seven...

Today was okay, but I need to stop staying up so late. I need to sleep more, plain and simple.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Day Forty-five...

Very irritable all day long. Annoyed. Angry. Frustrated. Pissed off in general.

Monday, May 14, 2007

Day Forty-four...

Very tired and irritable all day long. I feel itchy and greasy. I feel like there's a great stink inside me.

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Day Forty-three...

Didn't notice anything today except waking up with a stiff neck.

Saturday, May 12, 2007

Day Forty-two...

Feeling no lust today. Greatly diminished sperm production. Hard to make a decision. Hard to find the energy or the time to do stuff.

Friday, May 11, 2007

Day Forty-one...

I sure have been sweating a lot lately. Minimal exertion and moderate temps and humidity make me sweat like a madman.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Day Forty...

Today I felt brighter and cheerier.

Wednesday, May 9, 2007

Day Thirty-nine...

Sex drive gone, no energy, no spring. Just dragging myself around.

Tuesday, May 8, 2007

Day Thirty-eight...

Somewhat queasy and irritable and sweaty today.

Monday, May 7, 2007

Day Thirty-seven...

Woke up fairly easy, the day seemed long. I felt a little queasy in the morning, then really tired around 3:00. Sort of hungry all day, but not bad. Felt angry and full of bitterness and self-pity.

Sunday, May 6, 2007

Day Thirty-six...

I got up fairly easily today. Was pretty easygoing, relatively comfortable in an outside situation. Nothing major. Just feeling boring and flat.

Saturday, May 5, 2007

Day Thirty-five...

I don't know if I should continue with Cymbalta or this blog about Cymbalta. Neither one is doing anything for me, it feels like. I can barely make any sort of basic decision these days.

Friday, May 4, 2007

Day Thirty-four...

A Benadryl and some weird sandwich knocked me out for a bit this afternoon. Woke up with a great boner this morning. Functioned okay today, now I'm crashing.

Thursday, May 3, 2007

Day Thirty-three...

Major sugar cravings. Improved concentration and alertness. Less of a desire to sleep.

Wednesday, May 2, 2007

Day Thirty-two...

Itchy scalp. No appetite, except an appetite for sweets and empty carbs. Man, I love Dunkin Donuts coffee! No bowel movement in two days. Reduction in semen production and erectile turgidity, but not in desire. Psycho-emotionally, I don't think I feel any different than before.

Tuesday, May 1, 2007

Day Thirty-one...

I should've run out of pills by now, but I've forgotten to take em a couple times. My main concern at this point is hair loss. That side effect seems to be sticking around while all the cool ones like enhanced energy and loss of appetite have faded.